


Jezaria

by WrathNotRat



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Characters are Cadets, F/M, First Kiss, First Meetings, Kinda dorky, Mild Blood, My First Work in This Fandom, Non-graphic licklick, Pre-Mass Effect 1, Tattooed FemShep, never met before, quirky, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:20:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23448424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrathNotRat/pseuds/WrathNotRat
Summary: Young 19 yr old Jezaria Shepard is an ace at her position as a Cadet, but not so much when it comes to her classmates. Will a chance meeting help her?
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a birthday gift for one of my best friends, Jez. It's my first trip into Mass Effect fandom. I usually live in Far Cry 5 and am comfy amongst the many muscles that reside there.
> 
> I know I'm new to this Fandom, and my Far Cry 5 Fandom is fairly new in itself, so apologies if I mess it up. This is mainly a gift for my friend. 
> 
> If you don't recognise the new names of places, people, things etc, please note that I made them up. I know Mass Effect, played it non-stop and repeatedly, but the Citadel is HUGE and so is the Galaxy, so I just went with self-creation, and that way I could be quirky with it.
> 
> Any who, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEZ. I LOVE YOU, BABE ❤
> 
> Everybody stay safe and squishy. Go love on your Garrus at home if you can x

Jezaria Shepard knew social disaster.

Her trials as a young 19 year old cadet amongst her peers were numerous, and embarrassing. 

Oh, don't get me wrong. Jezaria nailed any situation where combat and intelligence was involved. Ace in every class. Nobody could take her down in hand to hand combat. Nobody could out shoot her on the tactician range. And intelligence... Forget about it. Jezaria had a perfect score on each and every test. Hell, she tutored on the side for extra credits. 

It seemed her past as a Spacer - exploring the galaxy with her parents, learning different cultures and races, and a good few nights where Jezaria had snuck off in the early mornings to try her luck on the ship's Captain's secret gun range - had paid off. 

It's just... She was a little clumsy. Just a tiniest bit. And NEVER in front of her superiors, no, in front of them she was as solid as a metal wall, and as fluid as water for whatever occasion needed her to be. But in front of the other cadets? She was a mess. 

There was this lack of confidence which came with being top of her class. She was mocked and ridiculed for barely anything because she was supposed to be perfect. There were times Jezaria wished she could fail. She almost considered just 'accidentally' shooting off centre or 'forgetting' the answer to a test.

Just to be... Human. 

But.. No. Jezaria knew of other races. That everything is bigger than just being a human. To fail on purpose? How could she, really? 

Still... It was lonely at the top. 

And this was more obvious on leave trips to the Citadel. These times where she could just be herself around others were always a failure. Sure, she could command them on a simulation battlefield, but out in the C'Vitrix nightclub or the Sojic Fristile coffee den? More than one uniform had been ruined thanks to her nerves. 

Hell, even the Quivilo Arcade (too young for the Casino, no matter how hard her classmates tried to sneak in) was a write off after causing a domino effect on the H'ammillix Rulejis. Luckily, her engineering skills paid off. Jezaria never mentioned to her classmates that her fixing the arcade machines actually made them work better. That the Asari owner had paid her credits for adjusting the mechanism enough that the H'ammillix kept the marble plate intact, therefore costing it less to run over the years. And the Asari owner had a LOT of years left.

With the Mostaco Ball approaching, a Ball where young species from all over came to integrate while watched by over-protective guardians, Jezaria was ready. 

With the credits from that accidental job, and the credits from the tutoring, Jezaria was able to afford a custom made Jtifri Hanar gown. That was an unusual fitting, to say the least, but the gown was divine. The silk from now extinct TOvior Spiders, the fine craftsmanship of Ancient Asari dressmakers, the trim from Zrinti stone, even the grinded flesh of a Thresher Maw as a shimmering glow that let the gown seemingly wink at you from across the dance floor. 

Jezaria felt like a Goddess. 

It wasn't to be mentioned, cruel as teenagers can be, but her classmates thought she looked stunning too. 

That didn't mean that they wanted to spend any time with her, though. 

That didn't matter as much when Jezaria was in this gown. With her shoulder length red hair pulled into a achingly difficult plaited bun, tendrils hanging loosely down her freckled, lightly made up cheeks. Jezaria let her Jtifri gown do the winking for her. 

Still, as the early hours went by in the Mostaco Ball, and she watched her classmates dance and laugh, and even crack stupid jokes about the alien species, Jezaria floundered. 

An expert in stealth and distraction, it wasn't difficult to sneak from the guardians and disappear up a back staircase, hardly blending in but the tricked out spinning Kylar disc left enough of an impression in her place. 

Jezaria entered onto the floor above. Darkness all around, except for the shimmering glow still caught in her gown. It would fade away once the light had been lost within it, but for now, it just felt like a beacon she could attach herself to. 

A memory of what could have been. 

She softly stepped over to the balcony and watched as her Kylar disc disintegrated into nothing, letting her classmates and guardians continue as though nobody had warped their minds for a good 60 seconds. 

Nobody noticed Jezaria was gone, and nobody would notice for an entire hour. Her engineering skill again had came in handy. Now all she had to do was watch and wa...

"Creative." 

Her universal translator picked up the soft growl behind her. Jezaria spun round, her gown catching air as she twisted, letting light shift into the darkness.

Is that...? A Turian. Male, skinny, so much taller than her 5.6'. Wearing the blue and black uniform of the C-Sec Cadets. He had a steak of blue along his cheek and up into his ... Hair? Feathers? Crown? Jezaria had only met young Turians in her time. Since joining her own species' cadets, she had had few interactions with Turians beyond shop or educational conversations. Certainly didn't have a chance to ask whether it was hair or feathers or a crown. 

There was this odd earth sky blue blobbish ball bouncing around behind him. It was about the size of a basketball, had a long trunk like nose, currently sniffling the air, 7 chubby little stumps with an almost spring like ability to jump to the height of the Turian's collarbone. Oh, that's not just a nose. That's a rotator. Like on an old earth helicopter. It was spinning round and round, keeping it afloat. 

"It's a Kalfi. We have them on our planet. They do well for companionship, but only in times of rest. When not needed, they hibernate to the size of a button, surviving off nutrients in the air. I've had this one since I was created. It's 689 years old, was handed down through the generations." The Turian correctly guessed her curiosity, lifting a claw to gently spin the Kalfi in the air, its soft snuffling being the only noise outside of the 1200 year old Asari Asalientra music from down below. 

"Ah. Cute. And who are you?" Jezaria asked, taking a step forward in stunned curiosity.

The Turian shuffled his claws, carefully spinning the Kalfi. "I'm... Not supposed to be here. And you?"

"...Not supposed to be here." Jezaria smiled up at the Turian. 

"Ah... Would the two nobodies like to dance?" He took a step forward, the Kalfi bopping him on the arm in passing. 

Jezaria reached out, ready to grasp at his claws still at his side. "Do Turians dance like we do on Earth?"

The Turian reached out, pulling at the softness of her fingers, and let her decide whether to be close enough to share breath.

"No..." She stepped closer, almost directly under his mandibles, looking up at his hooded eyes. "...Guess we'll have to make it up as we go along." 

Jezaria let him take the first step, and with it came a dance that was not unlike the waltz, except every few spins, he'd pull his claw up her shimmering gown and draw a mark on the bare of her back with his movements. 

"So, where are you from?" The Turian asked, resting his claw on Jezeria's waist.

"The stars. You?

"Same. Where are you going?"

"The stars. You?"

"Same."

The Asari music below stopped suddenly, but they kept moving to it, lost in the darkness with only the fading light of her dress to guide them.

The music below twisted into something unfamiliar, possibly of the Elcor, while spoken words of many languages seeped into her universal translator, giving it a heavy challenge into deciphering the many tongues and other. Jezaria ignored the hum of her struggling translator, and rested her cheek on the chest plate of the Turian as they swayed back and forth.

She didn't know how long they swayed, the light within her gown being the only slow trickle of lost moments as a cruel sands of time. The Kalfi spun and huffed, its soothing snuffling tickling her bare shoulders in passing, as it padded its little legs against the air and bounced and spun.

She raised her hand to his blue mark across his face, brushing the pads of her fingers along the coarse flesh of the Turian. 

"What does this mean?"

"It's to help a Turian find its place in the galaxy."

"Ah, then I guess it'll help me to find you again, Nobody."

"You and I are meant to find each other within the Spirit amongst the stars." 

Jezaria was just about to ask what he meant by that when the blobby Kalfi interrupted by blowing gently on its spinning trunk, causing it to spin like its own little planet.

Suddenly, it waved its little legs, and a THHEEEEEP noise came from the Kalfi. As surprising as that was, the Kalfi disappearing into a tiny flat button and dropping to the floor made Jezaria snort into loud laughter, dropping the Turian's claw so she could bend at the waist and stare at the spinning Kalfi button that was still making quiet THHEEEEEP noises.

"And that, my dear Nobody, is our little alarm. I'm afraid my shift is over." The Turian grasped at her soft hand once more before spinning her a final time.

"Oh... Then, I guess I'll see you ag... Wait. Hang on. You were on duty? Aren't you supposed to arrest me?"

"Yes." The Turian bent to the ground, pocketing the buttoned Kalfi. He stood up, looming over this stunning future troublemaker. Instead, I'll... " He kissed her, sure and soft. The surprised mewl from her lips almost cancelled out the recognisable booming footsteps of his father.

He pulled away, full of regrets. "Go. I won't arrest you, but he wil..." 

Jezaria dismissed his regrets by pulling him down with a grip the Turian didn't expect. Forceful, until those needy lips of hers were back on his. "Now I'll go." She whispered, pecking his mark before running off towards the stairs. The Turian watched her as she spun to a halt, her gown almost completely faded.

"What were you marking on my back?"

"It's so you know you're mine."

Jezaria smiled, a beaming smile that she hadn't felt in an age. These classmates of hers may not be her future teammates, but perhaps she could find her Turian again.

Garrus Vakarian watched her disappear completely, the light faded into nothing, knowing he might never find her again.

Not unless her light returned to his darkness. 

With a heavy sigh, and a straightening of his back, Garrus turned back to his father, announcing that he had found nobody at all.


	2. Somebody out there is laughing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decided to do another meet up! Two years later than the first Chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! 
> 
> Didn't expect to continue this. I've decided that if one more than MY BESTEST FRIEND tells me that they'd like a third Chapter then I'll end it there. But, for now, we'll slip in Chapter 2. 
> 
> Set two years later than Chapter 1 (sorry, I didn't mean 2 years after the ME series. I'm surely a noodle 😅)
> 
> Go on, my daft Jez. Enjoy, babe 💜 
> 
> Everybody else, I hope you enjoy, too. It's a bit... Cheeky.

It started with a rose. 

That is, a _space_ rose which isn't quite the same thing as an Earth rose. For one thing, they can pluck themselves up from the root. For another thing, they can use their petals as feet. As long as they had one petal, a sentient space rose can move pretty damn far. 

And cause all kinds of mayhem. 

For the third thing you should know about the average space rose, is that they don't exactly have a sense of maturity. So those little thorns? Oh dear... Wait until you see what they can do with them.

\---

The quail. 

Short, fast, fairly grounded on Earth until a singular quail managed to find its way onto a SeviT transport linker. And no, nobody, that still lives, knows how. 

It managed to tuck itself away, lay a few eggs, then hopped off once the linker hit the transport hub, and _somehow_ managed to set off the Self Destruct button in the dead centre of the Citadel. 

What Self Destruct button, you ask, and why didn't the Asari know of it?

Well, they didn't. 

Screaming, begging, pleading, trampling, alarms blaring in every single area of the station and they that lived there at the time simply accepted their death. Until the clock forced onto the many screens hit 00:04 and not a damn thing happened. 

Nobody really knows how that quail started and stopped the explosion of the Citadel, or even if it did. But by that point, the simple quail from the homely land back on Earth became quite famous.

Eventually, a statue appeared. It was a little...dodgy at the beginning. They weren't certain about the exact details of that one quail, they only had a spotty camera shot of it landing on that odd little, now heavily guarded, switch, in the centre of Citadel. 

Supposedly, twice. 

At one point, the statue had three legs, until somebody, most likely a human, pointed out the truth. 

Everybody got on that theme. Pet quail became the go-to pet. But that was a while back. The average age of a regular quail is 2-3 years. That quail that doomed then saved the Citadel is very dead. 

Which is a shame, because Jezaria could do with a back-up quail right now. 

\---

It wasn't _entirely_ her fault. They're fast little bastards. It shot off the table, skidded off the windowsill, and attempted to fly just... Horribly. Jezaria was an expert marksman, trained to fight like a warrior of years long gone, her reflexes were _off the chart._

But the quail didn't care. 

Nor did it matter. 

As Jezaria slid off the windowsill, barely tugging a feather off the quail's bottom causing it to spin out before it landed, nobody on Earth, or anywhere else, could have seen that perfect shot from the space rose. 

It was _impressive,_ Jezaria would admit to herself later on. Hell, in about a decade, she herself would use a similar shot to save a fellow Normandy crewmate, a good man. 

But she wasn't to know of this just yet.

For now, she was screwed. 

The quail _exploded_ in a puff of feathers and... Red stuff. Ick. A quick glance up with a horrified expression and a gleeful space rose slid off the handrail, explosive thorns in tow. 

That little... She was supposed to be taking care of this quail, aptly named Herman, for her superior officer! Now it was... Smeared on her boot, and a feather had wafted up, landing gracefully on her shoulder. Covered in blood.

Ooooo grossgrossgrossgrossgross...

She flickered it off her shoulder, her foot dodging where it landed, despite it being covered in quail itself.

Jezaria shuddered, suddenly stumped. What the hell is she gonna d...

"Well, well. What a mess." 

She groaned, twisting round to the C-Sec officer. She didn't even have to guess it was one, she'd recognize the stink of that laundry detergent anyw...

Oh.

"Oh." His mandibles opened, then closed just as fast. "It's you." He chuckled, clicking his camera off. "When I said "stars", I didn't mean the exploding ones."

Jezaria clasped her bloody hand to her forehead. This cannot be as bad as... "YOW?!" 

The Turian immediately pulled out his sidearm and shot the space rose off the balcony, a long tinny scream being all that was left of the pesky quail murderer that had just shot Jezaria in the ass with a thorn, of all things.

Five years of basic and advanced training with nary a scratch, and she got shot in the ass by a flower? 

She hopped up and down, immediately pressing her bottom to the wall, and pinching her plump lips together in embarrassment. "Thank you!! But go away." 

He stepped towards her, a first aid kit appearing in his claws. "No. Now turn around, let me get this sorted. I have an advanced medical degree in the human anatomy."

"You really think that'll help me let you near my... Backside?" Jezaria hissed, ripping a strip of fabric off her shirt and crushing it against the small bloodied area. "I'll just hit the transport to the Hospital. It's barely twenty minutes away." 

"Turn around, my lovely Nobody. I promise, not a word." 

Ooo it really hurt! But would she ever see him again if he... Fixed her bottom? She resigned herself to the answer. She always knew it, that she'd see him again. 

Just NOT quite like this. 

"Fine." Jezaria gritted out, turning around. It was only on the side of her... Buttock. Still!! Damn that flower. And the quail!! And whoever in heaven decided _this_ would be how she met him again. 

It's not like he was on her mind near nightly. It's not like she had his mark that he had smoothed onto her back those two years ago tattooed there permanently. Jezaria rested her head on the cool metal flooring, to the side of the quail corpse, and felt the light tug of her trousers being slipped down to her knees, letting her plain black undershorts come into the harsh lighting of the Citadel, and to the curious eyes of the Turian. 

Damn that flower.

Garrus grazed the mark on the side of her buttock, pinching away the remains of the thorn and placing it to the side. This was unexpected, but not unwanted. He had thought of her too, his mind young and... Mischievous enough to think of the human anatomy in a way _somewhat_ like this. 

He grabbed a medical wipe (human), and started to clean the wound, hissing in tandem to the beautiful body beneath him. It would sting for a few days, perhaps she'd favour her other... Buttock, he believed they called them. She sure was smooth. Not just here but... No, Vakarian, focus on the job at hand. 

He sprayed a burst of moisture from a steel bottle to sooth the pain and prevent infection then placed a cooling gel to heal. No scarring, sure is the wonder of the Asari. 

He felt... Tempted, but no. This, shall we say, _wild_ adventure has come to an end. He huffed as he pulled her trousers up her silky thighs and over the smooth delightful human bottom, sliding his claws to the front to fasten the trousers up unnecessarily, if only to touch her more.

And when Garrus made to stand, a small hand clutched at his, and made its way to the plains of her stomach, tugging at the shirt until it went up and up, showing the silky texture of the perfect human back. 

His mark. He skimmed his claws across it. 

_Permanent._

She really did belong to him. 

THEEEEEP!!

No!! No. How cruel the sands of time. Even here. Even nowhere. 

Even the Kalfi knew it, it's usually light noises saddened. 

She jumped up, his mark covered by the shirt again. Tucked up in her warmth, unfairly, as this is where he wished to be. 

"Should I..." She nodded at the mess.

"No. I...It's easier for me alone to explain." 

His troublemaker nodded softly, surely, a hand on her bottom. "Thank you." 

"You're welcome."

Sounds of boots. Two human, one Asari. 

"Go." 

Her perfect plump lips spilled open, unsure in the ramifications of her actions. "I wish..."

"Me too." 

She left. 

With a bloody feather in her hair.


	3. *Generic naughty or nice title but in SPACE*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirky lil Christmas treat, with a lovely giant thing (Not a penis).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllooo!!! 
> 
> Merry fucking Christmas, my darlings!! 
> 
> This is my gift to JEZ, who is glorious and beautiful, kindhearted, full of love for others so much that it hurts her. I love you so much, my squish. Next year is yours. I'm so proud of you, babe 💜
> 
> And, of course, we tickle the line of SMUTTYSMUTSMUTSMUT, as such is Ao3. If I even graze the flushed cheek of one ME fan, then I made it, ma 👅
> 
> Tag me if you're NOT Jez, and you want more Chapters of my Jezaria and her Garrus, otherwise I'll end it here. Love to you all, my space nerds 💜

Garrus tapped at the bauble with his claw. His long tongue flickering out as the plum red glass collected the bright lights of the citadel and simply beamed them throughout itself. It's amazing how humans could be so enthralled by such a thing. 

He daren't admit to himself that he'd been standing here for twenty minutes straight.

There was a rumour that his human was to arrive. 

But not to see him. Just to collect an award from the Human and Asari guilds after a ferocious battle over on Quainora of the Banalika Milok district. Garrus wasn't surprised. As unusually clumsy as his human was, she had talent. 

He had seen it. 

He had seen other parts, too.

Garrus taps at an ocean blue bauble further along, taking in a memory of his father just last month. His father was returning to his unit after spending time with Garrus on the Citadel after a conference on ultra low energy consumption for the Elcor teleportations after a harrowing experience which had cut off power for a fifth of the Citadel upper class. 

And if you think members of the tyrannical Annthelios were bad, wait until you hear about the Jonis amongst the upper levels. Upset one of them, you lose your entire family and every scrap of history of you is wiped off the universe. You never exist again, only to be tossed out into the ether.

That's worse than a broken kneeshell.

Anyhow, his father had caught Garrus in a humiliating position. He had traded credits on the lower levels for... Human porn. He just wanted an idea!! Just in case. Medical texts could only tell you so much. Turian and Human body language was hardly compatible. 

Any excuse Garrus had was useless. 

When his Kalfi had awoken, the experience of human on human sex had shook Garrus so much that he had accidentally zipped his projector off his desk where it had harmlessly bounced off his Kalfi and went straight out the window, the noises of human enthusiasm following suit.

Losing his brand new, work supplied projector was enough. 

Having it land on the lower apartment flower bed was just...painful. 

Garrus muttered to his father something random about "calibrations" with literally nothing to calibrate in front of him while the two screaming humans reached crescendo beneath his very window. 

Calibrations, indeed.

Their family was certainly one to speculate, the following conversation was excruciating. Finally, Garrus had to admit that he fallen for another. A human, of all things. She was soft, she made him laugh, ridiculousness followed in their wake and he wished for more of it. Every short time they have together was his life ahead of him. 

He had placed his mark on her and now she was placing her mark on the universe. Perhaps he was too late. He had stood there in his apartment, his father silent ahead of him, and near accepted the loss. 

As usual, his father knew better. 

"Think, son. You're missing a step." 

He was right. Granted it could just be the clingy youthful need that she had had. But it was all Garrus needed to thrive. 

He had placed his mark on her, and she had forever stained her body with it. She may be saving the universe but it was with _Garrus_ forever connected to her.

He would find her again.

The universe demanded it. As did his father. 

He didn't know which was more terrifying.

"...Shepard!" 

What? Oh!! He was on guard. 

Garrus returned to his post, back firmly established in its position. A soldier, a warrior, an ace shot. Bored. Fed up with politics and higher ups. Knowing he'd be better off elsewhere.

Now now, Vakarian. Your body, your soul may be stolen and dressed in blues, but your heart belongs to the Thevessian glittering her way up onto that stage.

Gods, she looks beautiful. 

Her skin was like silk. Her bottom especially. A wry grin appears on his lips, it wasn't too long ago that he...discovered this fact. Not a part of him, or any Turian, felt just as majestic as she had beneath him. A hint of red upon her cheeks, high and low.

Stop now, Vakarian. Listen to her words, what she says, how she graces the Citadel elders simply with her presence. How proud he was to witness this, one warrior to another. 

You're soldiers, you both are. Wrought with intensity, pain, sacrifice. Perhaps you'd both never find one another.

It was the mighty Zilokeir that once said. "Though thy strength may be..."

"Hi." 

Garrus jumped a foot when a human hand sat upon his shoulder plate. It was her, of course. But... He was stari...

"It's a hologram. Made it myself. You like? It even smells like my perfume. You can hug it, shoot it, set it on fire. It's morbid but I'm fairly morbid." She nudged her elbow into his waist. "You gotta be when people keep trying to murder you." 

Garrus finally turned to her, the _real_ her. She wasn't dressed at all like her hologram. That was dressed like a warrior, she was dressed like a... a... Oh. Vakarian swallowed, his tongue in knots. She was dressed only in their underwear that they approve of. A frilly, lacy affair. In red.

He'd never seen her in red.

It was a colour of passion. Of touch. Of perhaps, and maybe, and please don't stop. He'd seen enough humans to know this. 

"You like?" Shepard turned on her heel. When she bounced off his shoulder, that's when he knew she was real.

But just in case...

"And what else can that hologram accomplish?" 

She lights up, pure joy in her eyes. "Not this." With a flash, he's got a injector sticking out of his neck and a sly, pink tongue firmly in his mouth. She tastes like... Medicine. 

?

"Doc said we've got ten minutes max before this shit wears off. It's not perfect, so if you feel a little wobbly, you better kiss me harder. You can't fuck me, though. Our contraceptive isn't accessible for Turians just yet. Your penis is like acid to it." 

He swirls his tongue around her plump lips. "Where did you...?"

"Remember when I flew about, saving shit? I had a lotta time to think of ways to be with you. Good thing that ship has a lab, huh? Now shut up, we got minutes until our time ends." 

With a snap that Garrus could only ever imagine in the twisted parts of his mind, a red bra flew up and over his head, dressing the Human Christmas tree behind them. They had nowhere to go. Before them were his superiors, behind them was the civilians waiting at the exit to love on his Nobody.

But this was his time now. And he only had minutes.

He tossed his weapons to the side and bent down to grab her supple thighs, wrapping them around his waist and walking them over to the tree. 

She catches the sparkle of the tree at the edge of her vision, he sees the flashing against her mischievous eyes, full of colour and gleaming with a life yet to be. "Are you gonna kiss me against a tree, blue boy?" 

With a twist of his wrist, the tree disappears, leaving only the colour, the scent, and a floating bra behind. "We don't allow such nature on the Citadel. It allows for breach of environmental protections." 

His Shepard crushes her lips together, holding desperately onto the laughter that will end the spark between them. "Say "breach of environmental protections" again."

Garrus will admit this is unusual. How on earth... Well, she's from earth. "Brea..."

Her silky, curious tongue squirms its way through his mouth and pads about, dancing the dangerous edge that may lead to contraceptive issues. Garrus moans, forcing her body back against the panel where the tree was stood and crushing her against it. She squeaks as she presses against the cool metal, a gasp escaping her open lips, and giving Garrus a chance to lean back and catch her supple breasts and perky pink nipples which near bounce back after being crushed against his chest plate. 

He's never... They don't... He snarls, letting his long tongue lead the way as it charges towards her nipple, twirling like a rough tongue around the areola, round and round until her gasps are muted by her hand in her mouth. Garrus chuckles, nipping at the impossibly soft flesh then making his way further and further down to the birth button. 

With a growl, he breaths her in, toeing the line of those skimpy lace panties and skirting the edge of the trim while he lifts her thighs up and up to let him go lower and lowe...

"...concludes my thanks to the many crewmates that stood beside me at a trying time. Now, as we wrap thi. .."

A hand waps against his skull, and he slides his precious squeaky stone down the wall regretfully. 

"Over!! I'm...she's... It's over." Shepard gasps out. 

Garrus sinks mentally. He recognised that gasp. She was close. Impossibly close. Like she hadn't had this in a long time. 

By Gods. Just let her have this once. 

Like a machine, Garrus grabs her legs and yanks them out from beneath her, flipping her on her ass, and buries his face against the lacy panties, letting his tongue squirm past the lace itself and finally taste the secret which enthralled his mind. He's fast, but it doesn't take long with a tongue like his. 

With her desperate squeaks and the repeated smacks against his skull, they've got incredibly short amount of time before...

"Hello?"

Oh fuck. 

He taps desperately at his control, letting the Human Christmas tree appear around them, and settle with baubles dangling against their passion.

As long as they remain very still, and very quiet... 

She comes. 

And it's impossible. 

Garrus cringes against her sex, waiting for the inevitable....

There's a rip roaring scream behind them in the auditorium, and the walls tremble with explosions. He tries to twist round, but two hands grip his skull. She's gasping, teeth grinning in an excited manner as sweat trickles down her cheek.

"What did you...?"

"Kalfi 2.0"

"But..." Garrus tried to catch his breath as boots about to court martial them ran towards the scream. "...You went to my planet?"

"Of course. I wanted to learn about you, your culture, your people."

The tree drops baubles around them as another scream and hoots from some sort of... Monster?? tremble the very Citadel itself.

"What is...?"

"I found him. He's super old, and fairly mad. There's a cave buried beneath the Alo'Twono palace. I think he's the biggest one you have."

Garrus ducked as lasers shot out around them, skimming the area above them. "But if he's the oldest, then you've killed it??" 

She smiles (!), a glint in her eye, and wraps her thighs around him tighter. "Don't be daft. He's still safe and sound. It only took three weeks and seven holographic controls to match him out." 

Garrus stares as a gust of impossible wind near blows the tree upon them both. "But it's so... Real?" 

"I told you, I have a lot of time on my hands."

"For use for when you orgasm?"

"Every woman has a secret, even humans." 

"Like a giant, secret monster from an unknown cave under a six thousand year old palace from your boyfriend's planet that you hunted down and turned into an illusion?" 

She raises her eyebrows, chews on her lip. "Boyfriend?"

His claws skim the lacy material, smoothing it over the lower plains of her stomach. "Men have secrets, too."

She giggles, and he feels it in his chest. "Mine's better."


End file.
